[ Caelus catches his breath quickly enough. March always says that the Nameless are more resilient than ordinary people due to the blessing of the Trailblaze, but the thing about that is that Caelus was like this before agreeing to join the Express, which means his preternatural endurance and stamina must stem from something deep inside of him. (The Stellaron? Or some other quirk of his body's?)
Anyway — that's not too important, either. What is important is that Caelus shifts against the armchair, stretching and rolling his shoulders and neck with leonine grace. The post-orgasmic glow looks good on him; he feels comfortably lethargic, though something in his body still throbs greedily for more. (The "cancer," insatiable, all-devouring.) He meets Luocha's gaze, his knowing half-smile.
He finds himself smiling back, as if this has all been a very routine appointment, and Luocha a very attentive doctor, seeing to his needs. ]
Good. [ Another, more noticeable, quirk of his lips. He is trying not to laugh, both at the absurdity of the situation, and at how ragged he sounds. ] Really good. Better than I've ever felt in my life.
[ Which — the stretch of consciousness that Caelus has been "alive" is actually not very long, considering that all of his memories prior to the attack on the Space Station were wiped. But he's pretty sure that Luocha doesn't know that about him, so for all intents and purposes, Caelus does, in fact, feel better than he's ever felt in his life right now.
He's still a little desirous, even though he's satisfied. Still wants to touch Luocha, undress him — maybe even possess him. But Caelus is not so delusional that he doesn't understand the kind of man Luocha is. He's not someone to be possessed. He probably doesn't want to be touched right now — his body language is suggesting as much.
Caelus still spreads his hand a little, stretching his palm out over where it's patiently resting on Luocha's thigh. ]
...But what about you?
[ His golden irises flash a little whenever they catch the light. They flick upward now, taking in the faint hunger behind the merchant's false smile, the dark ambition in his eyes. Perhaps the Trailblazer has intuited that once is not usually enough for a man like Luocha. Maybe he's just a needy young stud, himself and of his own volition. ]
I could give you more. You could fuck me, if you want.
[ Straightforward and obscene. The invitation of a whore, promising a different price to pay. But what is the price here? What is it that Luocha is or is not willing to give up? ]
[A sort of stamina as this...par and parcel indeed, perhaps, for someone young and needy. While it's also just as equally likely to be the Stellaron's influence or some property of Caelus's body, designed as it is to contain the cancer that it does. In the end a combination of all the above might answer best. But either way, even with such likely factors in mind, it's still quite fascinating to observe just how fluidly Caelus seems to draw himself back together. From even this, it seems, an afterglow allegedly better than he's ever felt in his life to date. (Perhaps not a toy so easily broken after all, that ambitiously hungry thing can't help but note,) ...Luocha may not be fully privy to the finer details of just how minimally Caelus's current life memories stretch, no. But in matters of existences that are artificial, such a thing is hardly uncommon, and wouldn't come as much of a surprise. The sincerity of the answer is quite plain, anyhow, more of that simple and forthright sort of honesty--
--That goes on, to make an invitation like that. Obscene in the plainly straightforward phrasing of it--and that really is so terribly novel. Diverted in this way from schemes so intricately layered in their complexity, it really has...been too long, far too long, since Luocha could so easily determine what's being offered to him and what it's likely to cost.
Ah, truly that's the real danger here, isn't it? Something he probably should have foreseen, if only the intriguing riddle of the Stellaron in this boy's chest hadn't turned out to be such an ensnaring temptation. A temptation that persists now, so very appealingly, in the light weight of that palm on his thigh and the earnest flicker still kindled in those golden eyes.
A sort of amusement can't help but curve upon that false smile on Luocha's face.]
My, listen to you. ...The patient shouldn't be expected to ask after the doctor, you know. Though I suppose by now we've shifted a bit past conventional treatment...
[Once is never enough when it comes to a variety of matters in Luocha's life, honestly. But, all the same.
As he speaks, Luocha slowly removes one damp glove, and then the other. Right hand, and then left--though the left ever requires a bit of extra work, to undo the fastenings that keep the corded chain of his cross wrapped secure about his palm there. As soon as that hand is freed, the rosary returns to his bare wrist, re-wrapped with the automatic deftness of deeply ingrained habit. (It cannot be removed long, it must ever be carried.) And in doing so, as the feather-light weight of the charm sets upon his skin once more...
Anyone knows the sensation of being stared at out of sight, of judgment bored hot into one's back. As with pain overall, Luocha has grown accustomed to it--though it's not often that he's so distracted as to truly briefly forget about it. As distracted as he's been these last several minutes, even.
But the coffin is surely still there in its corner. And besides...]
I could fuck you. Of course, that's not all you're thinking about right now, is it? Hm, I wonder if even that would be enough to truly satiate you... [Perhaps he speaks in equal parts to both Caelus and the Stellaron, in saying this. Luocha is not someone to be possessed, no, not without measures first taken to loosen that tight grip he ever endeavors to keep upon his closely guarded control. But that doesn't mean he can't intuit, in turn, that Caelus might desire something more along those lines. Not when sufficient proof still prickles under the crimson marks upon Luocha's neck and chest. Even if the boy has proven just as happy to submit, and offers more of such aloud. ...It really would be satisfyingly easy to play upon that. Tilting his head slightly, Luocha reaches with freed fingertips to brush some errant strands of Caelus's hair from his eyes. He really is a little too versed, probably, in going through the motions of gentle kindness while such unkind things stir within.] These sorts of thoughts won't leave you once they've started, you know. Given time, they'll bloom into quite interesting things. ...So, I want you to wait and keep hold upon them, hm? Until tomorrow, at this same hour.
[Ever gradually, his tone drifts lower to a murmur, but he leans in as it does, the words breathing over Caelus's lips. Not a kiss, not quite...but even now, the scent of pale flowers crowds close.]
Should the shape of those thoughts appeal to you still, by then, you'll return here. And I'll fuck you, if that is what you want. ...Would you indulge me in this selfish request, Caelus?
Caelus swears he can feel his pupils blow wide with eager need.
It's a rare sort of thing to feel, this type of unbridled excitement. Lots of things have made Caelus happy, since he first woke up on the Space Station, but few things have gotten him excited. He swallows on a sudden tautness in his throat; the breath that emerges is a little shaky, but feverishly needy.
Yes. He understands what Luocha is saying. That he has to wait; that it will be better if he can just wait until tomorrow. Sit and wait and be good. Doctor's orders.
It's strange because Caelus isn't really the type of person who craves the feeling of having an authority figure tell him what to do — he's defiant in the face of authority more often than not — and yet, at the same time, submitting to someone else's gentle guidance feels so exhilarating. He craves it, for no reason that he can justify to himself. ]
Okay. [ He finds himself repeating it, breathed, worshipful: ] I can do that.
[ The Trailblazer licks his lips, instinctively trying to please. It feels like Luocha knows exactly how to play with him, exactly the way he wants to be played. Yes, he'll take orders like this, when it's offered so softly, and in such a pleasing voice, with the promise of a reward. Yes, yes, yes, yes. He takes a slow, long, deep breath; Luocha's scent, so close, so sweet. No one else ever touches him so gently, like he's something delicate, to be cherished.
(His brain feels like it's tingling. This is, apparently, excellent Luocha ASMR.) ]
I'll meet you... in the lobby?
[ There's a slightly needy whine underlying this question. Please, please, please, please? ]
[(Honestly Luocha would probably be more believable posing as an ASMR content creator or something than as a merchant who goes around never actually selling anything huh.....)
That excitement is very visible, yes, and practically tangible in close quarters like this. So very prompt, and so very eager...it's almost too easy, really, yet Luocha finds it such a satisfying response to savor all the same. Caelus's expressive honesty makes for a pleasingly simple study, where playing him as he wants to be played is concerned; even setting the stranger hangings of his general destructive-cancer-vessel existence aside, most youths tend to reject authority on principle--yes--but there's indeed a distinct difference, between authority and guidance. Frame it softly, as something reasonable yet tantalizing, as a request that will be rewarding to fulfill...
And, ever happy to fulfill requests for others in general--as the Trailblazer himself had confirmed earlier--Caelus agrees so very quickly. Luocha hums an assent, and draws back before the hinted kiss ever quite connects...one of the many pleasurable things Caelus will need to wait on, now that it's agreed upon. Quite a worthwhile thing to withdraw, hearing just how sweetly that underlying needy note rings in his question already. Goodness, by tomorrow he just might be a practical mess after the wait...and won't that be a sight?]
Yes, in the lobby, as we did earlier. ...Thank you, for indulging me in this. Mm...and now, for the present...stay right here a moment, won't you? I won't be long.
[There's actually a faint reluctance, in the back of thought, to part from this moment and this position--Caelus still pinned and splayed so appealingly underneath him in the chair--but a decision has already been made, and practical sense must now follow suit. Luocha shifts off of Caelus's lap at last, slowly and languidly as he'd been pulled onto it earlier, gloves in one hand while the other idly adjusts his clothing and the waistband of his pants a bit. ...Surprisingly, it seems they've both managed to keep--most of the mess from actually getting on outer layers. Which will be favorable, for a discreet departure on Caelus's part. Speaking of mess, though, in the interim...
Luocha passes into the small hall connecting the sitting room to the rest of the suite; the sound of water running in the bathroom a door or so down is likely audible enough. But Caelus won't be left alone with the coffin for too long at all, at least. It's only a minute or two before Luocha returns: outer coat fully removed now, and the remaining dark shirts underneath still opened, but his own torso cleaned and a warmly damp towel in hand. Unless Caelus reaches for it--well, Luocha won't mind pressing it over his stomach himself, if he'd prefer it. Gently, yes, still. As if the body being attended were something delicate and cherished--or however Caelus might perceive it, at least. Luocha knows the motions, even if it only ends at surface level presently.]
[ Caelus doesn't move. It's less that he doesn't want to, and more just that it just doesn't occur to him that he should move at all without Luocha's invitation to do so. He still feels as though he's under the man's spell, slightly hypnotized; the hold that Luocha has over him feels as potent as any Spirit Whisper conjured by Kafka in the dead of the night. He keeps his breath held as Luocha gently mops up what he's spilled over himself; the towel draws away after a time, leaving him cleaned and comfortably warm.
Then, at last, Caelus lets out the breath he was holding; sheer relief makes him feel a little intoxicated. He wanted to kiss Luocha, but the man has already drawn back to a normal sort of distance, and that's fine, for the moment. Because the more he wants it, the worse it will snag and tangle in his heart until tomorrow, when all his pent-up desire will burst. My cup runneth over, drowned in his insatiable wants. Oh, of course he knows that he shouldn't let himself sink into this too deeply — but isn't it fine, for a moment, to pretend?
After a moment, the Trailblazer realizes that Luocha has finished with him, so he swallows on a lump in his throat and pulls his shirt back down where it rode up, baring everything. Once he's got himself looking presentable once more, Caelus shifts slightly, as if getting ready to stand. He glances up at the merchant, looking as though nothing ever happened to him. Reflexively, the boy with golden eyes runs a hand through his hair; it comes out even messier than before, but he doesn't look rumpled. He doesn't look like he's done anything lascivious in the last few minutes at all.
Everything is as it should be. ]
Um.
[ This is so awkward, and also so funny. No one ever talks about how you're supposed to conclude an illicit sexual meeting, much less an illicit sexual meeting with a merchant-turned-doctor that has ended in the promise of more. Caelus makes a face that is difficult to describe — something between a smile and a bashful grimace. ]
I still feel like... I should be thanking you instead.
[ Faltering, he hooks his thumb in his pocket, less because he has to and more because he doesn't know what else to do with his hands. Abruptly, he blurts out — ]
I like you a lot. [ He regrets saying it, but it's honest, so there's a relief in saying it. ] I know I shouldn't. But still.
[ I know I shouldn't. That's all that he really needs to say, to prove that he is both perfectly aware of where he stands, and more than willing to accept the risks of this arrangement. But still. ]
[Cleaned up, clothing arranged presentable again, and Caelus doesn't look as if he'd gotten himself into anything so ill-advised at all. He'll be returned as he was, to the Express...outwardly. But all the while, smoldering relentless and having to be painstakingly kept to himself, will be lurid thoughts of this night and what the next night brings--now won't there? It's a very pleasing thought, to Luocha, as he surveys this handiwork before him. Yes, it will be ever so intriguing, to observe how Caelus unravels further by that time...
(Caelus, and not the Stellaron. The shift will catch even Luocha by surprise, eventually, when he reflects upon it enough later to finally notice it. This is going to make the internal excuse of an interesting study rather difficult to maintain, but all the same...how long has it been, anyhow, since he was so diverted in this sort of way? To finally have something interesting and satisfying but ultimately ephemeral to toy with. Something to muse upon that isn't so crushingly exhausting in its weight, for once, for just a little while...)]
Oh, but no thanks is needed for this sort of thing, rest assured.
[It's not a kindness, after all. It's not really something you should be thanking. The detached thought remains internal, and doesn't pass into the pleasant lilt of his tone. Instead Luocha waits with an air of benevolent patience, as Caelus takes his small and awkward moment to figure out just what he actually wants to do or say next. There is always the dismount, when it comes to illicit sexual meetings, and the boy's inexperience in these matters couldn't be more plain as it is right here and now--an unsurprising thing. Unperturbed, Luocha sets the towel aside, and slowly begins working at the buttons of his innermost shirt, graceful fingertips gradually fastening it closed it once more. ...His head dips slightly, at the confession that eventually tumbles its way out of the young man's mouth.]
"But still", all the same...there is a certain thrill to liking things that you shouldn't, isn't there? I understand it. [There's something mutually knowing in the slight smile on Luocha's features, as he remarks upon this, mild as anything else. ...It really is just as well, that Caelus is at least already aware of just how unknown these waters he's treading are. That he knows the person he's taken a liking to here--may not actually exist, in the base fundamentals, should all the pretty obscuring layers finally peel away. Luocha does wonder whether Caelus will ever be truly motivated to try finding the reality beneath, one day. Or whether he'll simply be content with the fleeting illusion already at hand--with pretending, and basking in how very pleasurable it is. Well, either way...] In the end you can always simply disengage...I certainly wouldn't blame you, Caelus. The choice is yours. But if you'll keep choosing to like me all the same, for a time...I suppose the least I could do is render it enjoyable, hm?
[Luocha stops buttoning just underneath his collar. The cross at his wrist flickers, and he blinks, pausing a moment as the flush of the bite marks upon his throat begin to fade. --Not healing he's invoked of his own volition, apparently, but...not an unusual thing to happen all the same, it seems, in the resigned sort of way that he raises a hand to press against one of those bites as it melts away. No, given time, the blessings of the Abundance upon his own particular power tend to manifest entirely on their own in the end. Always. Injury isn't permitted long.]
...Well, for now, we can consider this appointment concluded. Shall I release you with a clean bill of health for tonight then, sir? [A bit distracted, but giving way to something more lightly humored, after a moment. Sir re-emerges in use very clearly intentionally this time, in the way it now settles more as a sort of in-joke all its own.] If there's anything else ailing you at the moment, you ought to speak up now.
[ Oh, he understands. Caelus hates it. Relief melts into his blood like sugar into hot tea, and he's never felt so cloyingly happy in his life. How awful. Not because it's cruel of Luocha to accept his feelings, or anything like that — but because it makes Caelus feel so addictively seen, in exactly the way that he hates being seen.
It's so nice, to feel like his feelings are stupid and irrational, and then have those stupid, irrational feelings perfectly validated in the most soothing way. It's so awful, because for Luocha to understand means that Caelus is behaving within typical, prescribed boundaries. He is probably, to some degree, being manipulated, and he knows it. He is probably, to some degree, going to let himself be manipulated.
He doubts very much that Luocha cares about him on a personal level. But what does that matter? He doesn't need Luocha to care about him — or at least, he doesn't think he does.
Caelus watches the bite marks on Luocha's skin fade away, as cleanly as though he'd never been there at all, and then makes an impulse decision. ]
...Another moment of your time, sir.
[ He can play that game, too. The act. Caelus rises from his armchair, coming closer — he doesn't move too fast. He rests one hand on the counter behind Luocha, pinning him in just slightly, while leaving him room to escape. The way the Trailblazer leans in — it's acceptably suave. A little bit romantic, in the way that the bodice-rippers at the local bookstore tend to frame romance. He stops, just short, at Luocha's lips.
His golden gaze is tender, but there's heat simmering just beneath. ]
Can I have a good-night kiss?
[ Is this cheating the implicit order to go home and wait? Maybe. But then, this is the greed in Caelus talking, a greed that doesn't belong to the Stellaron, but is entirely his own. He's already been served a whole meal, but still, he doesn't see the harm in asking for just one more bite. ]
[Caelus might find it a mortifying thing, to be seen, but so far as Luocha's concerned it was an inevitable sort of thing--honest as the Trailblazer tends to be, and perceptive as Luocha tends to be in turn, filling in the blanks of what goes unsaid. For a man that has likely spent quite awhile honing his manipulative talents well before meeting Caelus here and now, it was only ever going be a fairly easy thing...especially when Caelus remains at least somewhat willing to be manipulated himself, to whatever degree. In the end, the fault is at least partially his own. Not that he could help it.
Yet, for all that most of his behavior indeed remains within typical, prescribed boundaries, Caelus does still produce little surprises, even if he can't perceive as much for himself. Luocha wouldn't find him half so intriguing if he didn't, truly...and it's in little gestures like the one Caelus makes right now. Taking up the little act for himself, with that answer--standing up--drawing close, mildly bracketing Luocha against the counter, leaning in. It's more suave than one would expect, yes, to say nothing of the fascinating way those gold eyes shine just so, tender and heated all at once. Something about the fact that this was so clearly impulsive lends to the charm, sharply as it contrasts against Luocha's own tendency for precisely measured words and gestures. Further surprising still is how this does brush right up against the order placed, to be patient until tomorrow. Even while being so eager to please, it seems...that in the end, greed occasionally dictates the boy more strongly than anything else. Hm.
Luocha stills against the counter, green eyes under their long lashes dropping from Caelus's gaze to his lips for a long moment's pause. The room to escape is noted, as all contingencies are always noted, but he doesn't take it. Instead, a sort of amusement, mingled with something else more difficult to define, crosses Luocha's features and prompts a new sort of slight smile. Goodness, the audacity on display here...
Shameless. Hazardous to indulge too much. And yet.]
...My, if you're asking like that... [Softly breathed in the space between them, almost a sigh. Close as they are once again, the Stellaron's hum thrums close in turn--familiar, now. But not much complicit in this last gesture, it seems. The wills have evidently separated once more, and it will never not be fascinating.] Very well, I suppose. Only the one, if it will help you sleep tonight...
[It probably won't, of course. They're both well aware of that, and so it's a dressing upon the act, nothing more. But Luocha will lean in turn to close the remaining distance, yes, and plant a warm kiss on that sweetly shameless mouth all the same. Chaste once more, as all good-night kisses generally are.]
[ The kiss is sweet. Warm and patient, in the way that all good-night kisses are, and it's just the thing that Caelus has been craving, in his heart of hearts. He's not stupid enough to think that Luocha loves him, but he can imagine, for a moment, that he is loved.
When they part —
— Caelus bites hard into Luocha's bottom lip, and pulls away, smirking, with blood in his mouth.
The wound will go away in a few moments, surely, like all the other ones. The red stain of Luocha's blood on Caelus's lip, though, that can stay until he gets back to the Express. The Trailblazer smears it more evenly over his lips with a careless thumb like it's a cosmetic enhancement, and then smiles even more broadly, lips red as any bewitching Foxian beauty's, and turns on his heel.
Just a little something to remember him by, for at least the next few minutes, until they see each other again. ]
Thank you, Luocha. Good night.
[ The young man is gentle about closing the door to the suite behind him, leaving Luocha in the sitting-area, with his coffin and all of its secrets. ]
[Perhaps he should have expected it, really. But this is a surprise too--when their mouths part, and Caelus crowds in, and the sharp heat of a bite flares upon Luocha's bottom lip. Copper blossoms on his tongue; the breath he draws in is a sharp one, despite himself, half startled and half piqued. ...Not in a bad way. There it is again, that sense of mild insult at the way even this briefly chases down his spine as its own sort of thrill--at the way Caelus smirks in a fashion far too charming, blood painting his lip and intentionally left lingering there, even as he moves to the door.
What a greedy boy indeed. He ought to be much more sparing, about indulging this...
With less scattered thoughts he would have accompanied the Trailblazer to the door, as a polite host does, but as it is Luocha remains where he stands by the counter. Almost absentmindedly, fingertips raise to press against the stinging of that abused lip, though a renewed amusement is curving his mouth anyhow as the door shuts behind Caelus. The dry chuckle that follows is unheard, in the newly empty room. ...Well, no, that's not quite true...
As the numbing warmth of the Abundance wells up again far too soon, soothing away this new bite of its own volition, Luocha drifts to the coffin in the corner at last, and flattens a palm against its lid. A sense of frosty judgment emanates still, from inside, something accusatory in the shape of it; a vine wraps about his wrist, thorns digging into bared skin. Luocha does not recoil, but lets it wash over, the icy condemnation and the old prickling pain. He draws in a slow breath, and centers his thoughts, upon the familiar scent and sensation of phantom flowers crowding into the back of his throat, thinning breath.]
I know. My apologies. It wasn't my intention for you to see such a filthy sight...you won't have to again.
[It's not as if he's lost track, of why he's here. Of what needs done. It's an unexpected diversion, this, and nothing more. Something to pass this last stretch of time. Something that will be pursued just a bit further tomorrow, perhaps, but overall entirely temporary in the end, because it'll have to be. Simply another sin to the tally, hm?
Luocha tugs the coffin close, and carries it with him back to the bedroom. As is his habit anyhow, in retiring for the night...but it won't be in there tomorrow.
The peanut butter sandwich, in the meanwhile, will be entirely forgotten in the fridge for the rest of his stint on the Luofu.]
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trailblazers2023-12-03 11:23 am
no subject
Anyway — that's not too important, either. What is important is that Caelus shifts against the armchair, stretching and rolling his shoulders and neck with leonine grace. The post-orgasmic glow looks good on him; he feels comfortably lethargic, though something in his body still throbs greedily for more. (The "cancer," insatiable, all-devouring.) He meets Luocha's gaze, his knowing half-smile.
He finds himself smiling back, as if this has all been a very routine appointment, and Luocha a very attentive doctor, seeing to his needs. ]
Good. [ Another, more noticeable, quirk of his lips. He is trying not to laugh, both at the absurdity of the situation, and at how ragged he sounds. ] Really good. Better than I've ever felt in my life.
[ Which — the stretch of consciousness that Caelus has been "alive" is actually not very long, considering that all of his memories prior to the attack on the Space Station were wiped. But he's pretty sure that Luocha doesn't know that about him, so for all intents and purposes, Caelus does, in fact, feel better than he's ever felt in his life right now.
He's still a little desirous, even though he's satisfied. Still wants to touch Luocha, undress him — maybe even possess him. But Caelus is not so delusional that he doesn't understand the kind of man Luocha is. He's not someone to be possessed. He probably doesn't want to be touched right now — his body language is suggesting as much.
Caelus still spreads his hand a little, stretching his palm out over where it's patiently resting on Luocha's thigh. ]
...But what about you?
[ His golden irises flash a little whenever they catch the light. They flick upward now, taking in the faint hunger behind the merchant's false smile, the dark ambition in his eyes. Perhaps the Trailblazer has intuited that once is not usually enough for a man like Luocha. Maybe he's just a needy young stud, himself and of his own volition. ]
I could give you more. You could fuck me, if you want.
[ Straightforward and obscene. The invitation of a whore, promising a different price to pay. But what is the price here? What is it that Luocha is or is not willing to give up? ]
no subject
(Perhaps not a toy so easily broken after all, that ambitiously hungry thing can't help but note,)...Luocha may not be fully privy to the finer details of just how minimally Caelus's current life memories stretch, no. But in matters of existences that are artificial, such a thing is hardly uncommon, and wouldn't come as much of a surprise. The sincerity of the answer is quite plain, anyhow, more of that simple and forthright sort of honesty----That goes on, to make an invitation like that. Obscene in the plainly straightforward phrasing of it--and that really is so terribly novel. Diverted in this way from schemes so intricately layered in their complexity, it really has...been too long, far too long, since Luocha could so easily determine what's being offered to him and what it's likely to cost.
Ah, truly that's the real danger here, isn't it? Something he probably should have foreseen, if only the intriguing riddle of the Stellaron in this boy's chest hadn't turned out to be such an ensnaring temptation. A temptation that persists now, so very appealingly, in the light weight of that palm on his thigh and the earnest flicker still kindled in those golden eyes.
A sort of amusement can't help but curve upon that false smile on Luocha's face.]
My, listen to you. ...The patient shouldn't be expected to ask after the doctor, you know. Though I suppose by now we've shifted a bit past conventional treatment...
[Once is never enough when it comes to a variety of matters in Luocha's life, honestly. But, all the same.
As he speaks, Luocha slowly removes one damp glove, and then the other. Right hand, and then left--though the left ever requires a bit of extra work, to undo the fastenings that keep the corded chain of his cross wrapped secure about his palm there. As soon as that hand is freed, the rosary returns to his bare wrist, re-wrapped with the automatic deftness of deeply ingrained habit. (It cannot be removed long, it must ever be carried.) And in doing so, as the feather-light weight of the charm sets upon his skin once more...
Anyone knows the sensation of being stared at out of sight, of judgment bored hot into one's back. As with pain overall, Luocha has grown accustomed to it--though it's not often that he's so distracted as to truly briefly forget about it. As distracted as he's been these last several minutes, even.
But the coffin is surely still there in its corner. And besides...]
I could fuck you. Of course, that's not all you're thinking about right now, is it? Hm, I wonder if even that would be enough to truly satiate you... [Perhaps he speaks in equal parts to both Caelus and the Stellaron, in saying this. Luocha is not someone to be possessed, no, not without measures first taken to loosen that tight grip he ever endeavors to keep upon his closely guarded control. But that doesn't mean he can't intuit, in turn, that Caelus might desire something more along those lines. Not when sufficient proof still prickles under the crimson marks upon Luocha's neck and chest. Even if the boy has proven just as happy to submit, and offers more of such aloud. ...It really would be satisfyingly easy to play upon that. Tilting his head slightly, Luocha reaches with freed fingertips to brush some errant strands of Caelus's hair from his eyes. He really is a little too versed, probably, in going through the motions of gentle kindness while such unkind things stir within.] These sorts of thoughts won't leave you once they've started, you know. Given time, they'll bloom into quite interesting things. ...So, I want you to wait and keep hold upon them, hm? Until tomorrow, at this same hour.
[Ever gradually, his tone drifts lower to a murmur, but he leans in as it does, the words breathing over Caelus's lips. Not a kiss, not quite...but even now, the scent of pale flowers crowds close.]
Should the shape of those thoughts appeal to you still, by then, you'll return here. And I'll fuck you, if that is what you want. ...Would you indulge me in this selfish request, Caelus?
no subject
Caelus swears he can feel his pupils blow wide with eager need.
It's a rare sort of thing to feel, this type of unbridled excitement. Lots of things have made Caelus happy, since he first woke up on the Space Station, but few things have gotten him excited. He swallows on a sudden tautness in his throat; the breath that emerges is a little shaky, but feverishly needy.
Yes. He understands what Luocha is saying. That he has to wait; that it will be better if he can just wait until tomorrow. Sit and wait and be good. Doctor's orders.
It's strange because Caelus isn't really the type of person who craves the feeling of having an authority figure tell him what to do — he's defiant in the face of authority more often than not — and yet, at the same time, submitting to someone else's gentle guidance feels so exhilarating. He craves it, for no reason that he can justify to himself. ]
Okay. [ He finds himself repeating it, breathed, worshipful: ] I can do that.
[ The Trailblazer licks his lips, instinctively trying to please. It feels like Luocha knows exactly how to play with him, exactly the way he wants to be played. Yes, he'll take orders like this, when it's offered so softly, and in such a pleasing voice, with the promise of a reward. Yes, yes, yes, yes. He takes a slow, long, deep breath; Luocha's scent, so close, so sweet. No one else ever touches him so gently, like he's something delicate, to be cherished.
(His brain feels like it's tingling. This is, apparently, excellent Luocha ASMR.) ]
I'll meet you... in the lobby?
[ There's a slightly needy whine underlying this question. Please, please, please, please? ]
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That excitement is very visible, yes, and practically tangible in close quarters like this. So very prompt, and so very eager...it's almost too easy, really, yet Luocha finds it such a satisfying response to savor all the same. Caelus's expressive honesty makes for a pleasingly simple study, where playing him as he wants to be played is concerned; even setting the stranger hangings of his general destructive-cancer-vessel existence aside, most youths tend to reject authority on principle--yes--but there's indeed a distinct difference, between authority and guidance. Frame it softly, as something reasonable yet tantalizing, as a request that will be rewarding to fulfill...
And, ever happy to fulfill requests for others in general--as the Trailblazer himself had confirmed earlier--Caelus agrees so very quickly. Luocha hums an assent, and draws back before the hinted kiss ever quite connects...one of the many pleasurable things Caelus will need to wait on, now that it's agreed upon. Quite a worthwhile thing to withdraw, hearing just how sweetly that underlying needy note rings in his question already. Goodness, by tomorrow he just might be a practical mess after the wait...and won't that be a sight?]
Yes, in the lobby, as we did earlier. ...Thank you, for indulging me in this. Mm...and now, for the present...stay right here a moment, won't you? I won't be long.
[There's actually a faint reluctance, in the back of thought, to part from this moment and this position--Caelus still pinned and splayed so appealingly underneath him in the chair--but a decision has already been made, and practical sense must now follow suit. Luocha shifts off of Caelus's lap at last, slowly and languidly as he'd been pulled onto it earlier, gloves in one hand while the other idly adjusts his clothing and the waistband of his pants a bit. ...Surprisingly, it seems they've both managed to keep--most of the mess from actually getting on outer layers. Which will be favorable, for a discreet departure on Caelus's part. Speaking of mess, though, in the interim...
Luocha passes into the small hall connecting the sitting room to the rest of the suite; the sound of water running in the bathroom a door or so down is likely audible enough. But Caelus won't be left alone
with the coffinfor too long at all, at least. It's only a minute or two before Luocha returns: outer coat fully removed now, and the remaining dark shirts underneath still opened, but his own torso cleaned and a warmly damp towel in hand. Unless Caelus reaches for it--well, Luocha won't mind pressing it over his stomach himself, if he'd prefer it. Gently, yes, still. As if the body being attended were something delicate and cherished--or however Caelus might perceive it, at least. Luocha knows the motions, even if it only ends at surface level presently.]no subject
Then, at last, Caelus lets out the breath he was holding; sheer relief makes him feel a little intoxicated. He wanted to kiss Luocha, but the man has already drawn back to a normal sort of distance, and that's fine, for the moment. Because the more he wants it, the worse it will snag and tangle in his heart until tomorrow, when all his pent-up desire will burst. My cup runneth over, drowned in his insatiable wants. Oh, of course he knows that he shouldn't let himself sink into this too deeply — but isn't it fine, for a moment, to pretend?
After a moment, the Trailblazer realizes that Luocha has finished with him, so he swallows on a lump in his throat and pulls his shirt back down where it rode up, baring everything. Once he's got himself looking presentable once more, Caelus shifts slightly, as if getting ready to stand. He glances up at the merchant, looking as though nothing ever happened to him. Reflexively, the boy with golden eyes runs a hand through his hair; it comes out even messier than before, but he doesn't look rumpled. He doesn't look like he's done anything lascivious in the last few minutes at all.
Everything is as it should be. ]
Um.
[ This is so awkward, and also so funny. No one ever talks about how you're supposed to conclude an illicit sexual meeting, much less an illicit sexual meeting with a merchant-turned-doctor that has ended in the promise of more. Caelus makes a face that is difficult to describe — something between a smile and a bashful grimace. ]
I still feel like... I should be thanking you instead.
[ Faltering, he hooks his thumb in his pocket, less because he has to and more because he doesn't know what else to do with his hands. Abruptly, he blurts out — ]
I like you a lot. [ He regrets saying it, but it's honest, so there's a relief in saying it. ] I know I shouldn't. But still.
[ I know I shouldn't. That's all that he really needs to say, to prove that he is both perfectly aware of where he stands, and more than willing to accept the risks of this arrangement. But still. ]
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(Caelus, and not the Stellaron. The shift will catch even Luocha by surprise, eventually, when he reflects upon it enough later to finally notice it. This is going to make the internal excuse of an interesting study rather difficult to maintain, but all the same...how long has it been, anyhow, since he was so diverted in this sort of way? To finally have something interesting and satisfying but ultimately ephemeral to toy with. Something to muse upon that isn't so crushingly exhausting in its weight, for once, for just a little while...)]
Oh, but no thanks is needed for this sort of thing, rest assured.
[It's not a kindness, after all. It's not really something you should be thanking. The detached thought remains internal, and doesn't pass into the pleasant lilt of his tone. Instead Luocha waits with an air of benevolent patience, as Caelus takes his small and awkward moment to figure out just what he actually wants to do or say next. There is always the dismount, when it comes to illicit sexual meetings, and the boy's inexperience in these matters couldn't be more plain as it is right here and now--an unsurprising thing. Unperturbed, Luocha sets the towel aside, and slowly begins working at the buttons of his innermost shirt, graceful fingertips gradually fastening it closed it once more. ...His head dips slightly, at the confession that eventually tumbles its way out of the young man's mouth.]
"But still", all the same...there is a certain thrill to liking things that you shouldn't, isn't there? I understand it. [There's something mutually knowing in the slight smile on Luocha's features, as he remarks upon this, mild as anything else. ...It really is just as well, that Caelus is at least already aware of just how unknown these waters he's treading are. That he knows the person he's taken a liking to here--may not actually exist, in the base fundamentals, should all the pretty obscuring layers finally peel away. Luocha does wonder whether Caelus will ever be truly motivated to try finding the reality beneath, one day. Or whether he'll simply be content with the fleeting illusion already at hand--with pretending, and basking in how very pleasurable it is. Well, either way...] In the end you can always simply disengage...I certainly wouldn't blame you, Caelus. The choice is yours. But if you'll keep choosing to like me all the same, for a time...I suppose the least I could do is render it enjoyable, hm?
[Luocha stops buttoning just underneath his collar. The cross at his wrist flickers, and he blinks, pausing a moment as the flush of the bite marks upon his throat begin to fade. --Not healing he's invoked of his own volition, apparently, but...not an unusual thing to happen all the same, it seems, in the resigned sort of way that he raises a hand to press against one of those bites as it melts away. No, given time, the blessings of the Abundance upon his own particular power tend to manifest entirely on their own in the end. Always. Injury isn't permitted long.]
...Well, for now, we can consider this appointment concluded. Shall I release you with a clean bill of health for tonight then, sir? [A bit distracted, but giving way to something more lightly humored, after a moment. Sir re-emerges in use very clearly intentionally this time, in the way it now settles more as a sort of in-joke all its own.] If there's anything else ailing you at the moment, you ought to speak up now.
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It's so nice, to feel like his feelings are stupid and irrational, and then have those stupid, irrational feelings perfectly validated in the most soothing way. It's so awful, because for Luocha to understand means that Caelus is behaving within typical, prescribed boundaries. He is probably, to some degree, being manipulated, and he knows it. He is probably, to some degree, going to let himself be manipulated.
He doubts very much that Luocha cares about him on a personal level. But what does that matter? He doesn't need Luocha to care about him — or at least, he doesn't think he does.
Caelus watches the bite marks on Luocha's skin fade away, as cleanly as though he'd never been there at all, and then makes an impulse decision. ]
...Another moment of your time, sir.
[ He can play that game, too. The act. Caelus rises from his armchair, coming closer — he doesn't move too fast. He rests one hand on the counter behind Luocha, pinning him in just slightly, while leaving him room to escape. The way the Trailblazer leans in — it's acceptably suave. A little bit romantic, in the way that the bodice-rippers at the local bookstore tend to frame romance. He stops, just short, at Luocha's lips.
His golden gaze is tender, but there's heat simmering just beneath. ]
Can I have a good-night kiss?
[ Is this cheating the implicit order to go home and wait? Maybe. But then, this is the greed in Caelus talking, a greed that doesn't belong to the Stellaron, but is entirely his own. He's already been served a whole meal, but still, he doesn't see the harm in asking for just one more bite. ]
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Yet, for all that most of his behavior indeed remains within typical, prescribed boundaries, Caelus does still produce little surprises, even if he can't perceive as much for himself. Luocha wouldn't find him half so intriguing if he didn't, truly...and it's in little gestures like the one Caelus makes right now. Taking up the little act for himself, with that answer--standing up--drawing close, mildly bracketing Luocha against the counter, leaning in. It's more suave than one would expect, yes, to say nothing of the fascinating way those gold eyes shine just so, tender and heated all at once. Something about the fact that this was so clearly impulsive lends to the charm, sharply as it contrasts against Luocha's own tendency for precisely measured words and gestures. Further surprising still is how this does brush right up against the order placed, to be patient until tomorrow. Even while being so eager to please, it seems...that in the end, greed occasionally dictates the boy more strongly than anything else. Hm.
Luocha stills against the counter, green eyes under their long lashes dropping from Caelus's gaze to his lips for a long moment's pause. The room to escape is noted, as all contingencies are always noted, but he doesn't take it. Instead, a sort of amusement, mingled with something else more difficult to define, crosses Luocha's features and prompts a new sort of slight smile. Goodness, the audacity on display here...
Shameless. Hazardous to indulge too much. And yet.]
...My, if you're asking like that... [Softly breathed in the space between them, almost a sigh. Close as they are once again, the Stellaron's hum thrums close in turn--familiar, now. But not much complicit in this last gesture, it seems. The wills have evidently separated once more, and it will never not be fascinating.] Very well, I suppose. Only the one, if it will help you sleep tonight...
[It probably won't, of course. They're both well aware of that, and so it's a dressing upon the act, nothing more. But Luocha will lean in turn to close the remaining distance, yes, and plant a warm kiss on that sweetly shameless mouth all the same. Chaste once more, as all good-night kisses generally are.]
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When they part —
— Caelus bites hard into Luocha's bottom lip, and pulls away, smirking, with blood in his mouth.
The wound will go away in a few moments, surely, like all the other ones. The red stain of Luocha's blood on Caelus's lip, though, that can stay until he gets back to the Express. The Trailblazer smears it more evenly over his lips with a careless thumb like it's a cosmetic enhancement, and then smiles even more broadly, lips red as any bewitching Foxian beauty's, and turns on his heel.
Just a little something to remember him by, for at least the next few minutes, until they see each other again. ]
Thank you, Luocha. Good night.
[ The young man is gentle about closing the door to the suite behind him, leaving Luocha in the sitting-area, with his coffin and all of its secrets. ]
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What a greedy boy indeed. He ought to be much more sparing, about indulging this...
With less scattered thoughts he would have accompanied the Trailblazer to the door, as a polite host does, but as it is Luocha remains where he stands by the counter. Almost absentmindedly, fingertips raise to press against the stinging of that abused lip, though a renewed amusement is curving his mouth anyhow as the door shuts behind Caelus. The dry chuckle that follows is unheard, in the newly empty room. ...Well, no, that's not quite true...
As the numbing warmth of the Abundance wells up again far too soon, soothing away this new bite of its own volition, Luocha drifts to the coffin in the corner at last, and flattens a palm against its lid. A sense of frosty judgment emanates still, from inside, something accusatory in the shape of it; a vine wraps about his wrist, thorns digging into bared skin. Luocha does not recoil, but lets it wash over, the icy condemnation and the old prickling pain. He draws in a slow breath, and centers his thoughts, upon the familiar scent and sensation of phantom flowers crowding into the back of his throat, thinning breath.]
I know. My apologies. It wasn't my intention for you to see such a filthy sight...you won't have to again.
[It's not as if he's lost track, of why he's here. Of what needs done. It's an unexpected diversion, this, and nothing more. Something to pass this last stretch of time. Something that will be pursued just a bit further tomorrow, perhaps, but overall entirely temporary in the end, because it'll have to be. Simply another sin to the tally, hm?
Luocha tugs the coffin close, and carries it with him back to the bedroom. As is his habit anyhow, in retiring for the night...but it won't be in there tomorrow.
The peanut butter sandwich, in the meanwhile, will be entirely forgotten in the fridge for the rest of his stint on the Luofu.]
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