caelus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
receptacles) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trailblazers2024-01-25 08:59 pm
receptacles) wrote in trailblazers2024-01-25 08:59 pm
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I need to look at your tail every night before I sleep.
[ ...this...
surely this is just one of those absurd things he says sometimes, right... ]
[ ...this...
surely this is just one of those absurd things he says sometimes, right... ]
Its gorgeous blue colors soothe and heal me...
Its hynotic curves... its vivid elegance...
Its hynotic curves... its vivid elegance...
Why can't you show me your tail every night?
Is there something bad about it?
Is there something bad about it?
It's not that.
Don't get me wrong, I know there are parts of me that you accept fully. Those parts are harder for me to accept. They sit like old wounds, and sometimes it feels as if they'll tear open at the slightest provocation. If I'm too rough, or if I act to rashly, I'll just bleed again.
Don't get me wrong, I know there are parts of me that you accept fully. Those parts are harder for me to accept. They sit like old wounds, and sometimes it feels as if they'll tear open at the slightest provocation. If I'm too rough, or if I act to rashly, I'll just bleed again.
Oh...
[ ...
maybe he's been a little insensitive. dan heng isn't a toy for him to play with, and much as his own fascination with dan heng's vidyadharan parts is rooted in wanting the man to accept himself, maybe it's true that caelus has been a little pushy. ]
Well...
It's not really about your tail. I just want to look at you before I fall asleep.
[ ...
maybe he's been a little insensitive. dan heng isn't a toy for him to play with, and much as his own fascination with dan heng's vidyadharan parts is rooted in wanting the man to accept himself, maybe it's true that caelus has been a little pushy. ]
Well...
It's not really about your tail. I just want to look at you before I fall asleep.
[ it is good for him, in some ways. if he wasn't pushed, he may not have come as far as he has. ]
I know you do. You also don't have to hide it.
I do like that you like my tail.
It gives me a reason to like my tail. If you like my tail enough, I can find a reason to like it, too.
I know you do. You also don't have to hide it.
I do like that you like my tail.
It gives me a reason to like my tail. If you like my tail enough, I can find a reason to like it, too.
What if I get a big Dan Heng plushie? One that has his tail. Would that bother you?
[ think twice about answering this, dan heng. you're gonna get yourself into a "ah yes, me, my boyfriend, and his 500,000 trailblaze fund plushie" situation. ]
[ think twice about answering this, dan heng. you're gonna get yourself into a "ah yes, me, my boyfriend, and his 500,000 trailblaze fund plushie" situation. ]
[The response is weighed pensively. Which means there's a bit of a delay on Luocha's own part too, even if perhaps it's not quite so uncommon from him as it is from Caelus. But this is an interesting thing--that the delay occurred, and that the answer eventually laid down is a forthright one. Caelus does seem to have a preference for some humorous deflection when it comes to himself, more often than not, but here...
Well, maybe there's something a little touching about it too. Caelus's occasional and entirely unpredictable bouts of sincerity surely shouldn't be catching him by half so much surprise by now, yet they still do--it's rather novel each time. Hmm...]
If I recall correctly, you've mentioned before that you have no memories from before that first time waking up, yes? It only stands to reason, if that's so, that the very first moments of that awakening would be an exceedingly impactful experience.
Such things are sometimes called "core memories", in some circles. Impressions left strongly enough to form a strong basis to identity. So, one of your core memories entailing being "thrown away"...naturally, such a thing would leave an especially lasting impression.
I will not tell you this is an irrational thing to feel. You seem aware enough of that logic already. But I also think there is nothing wrong with holding that feeling at times...clearly, it informs your perspective on many things.
You now carry a sort of compassion many fail to grasp, and now perceive value where others would dismiss it. Which is not a sort of thing a mere 'not-person body' could do, now is it?
Well, maybe there's something a little touching about it too. Caelus's occasional and entirely unpredictable bouts of sincerity surely shouldn't be catching him by half so much surprise by now, yet they still do--it's rather novel each time. Hmm...]
If I recall correctly, you've mentioned before that you have no memories from before that first time waking up, yes? It only stands to reason, if that's so, that the very first moments of that awakening would be an exceedingly impactful experience.
Such things are sometimes called "core memories", in some circles. Impressions left strongly enough to form a strong basis to identity. So, one of your core memories entailing being "thrown away"...naturally, such a thing would leave an especially lasting impression.
I will not tell you this is an irrational thing to feel. You seem aware enough of that logic already. But I also think there is nothing wrong with holding that feeling at times...clearly, it informs your perspective on many things.
You now carry a sort of compassion many fail to grasp, and now perceive value where others would dismiss it. Which is not a sort of thing a mere 'not-person body' could do, now is it?
[the local man who may or may not be directly responsible for nanook's bleeding wounds also may or may not be finding a great amusement in that super casual question about now. not that anybody's around to see the smile, at least...not that anybody will ever know.......]
Hm, I'd imagine sparingly few mortals have ever observed The Destruction and survived to recount the experience afterwards. And you're one of them? My, the surprises truly never cease with you...
[local man is a seasoned professional at not actually answering questions, anyway--]
But I do think longer hair could suit you, in your own way. Perhaps nothing too long, of course...after a certain length, there's a great deal of time one must set aside to maintaining it. Still, around shoulder-length tends to be very agreeable. You might prefer something like that.
Anyhow, compared to that tidbit above, it's rather less surprising that you may be speaking of a Stellaron Hunter...if that is the 'Kafka' you're referring to? [of course he knows about some Other interastrally renowned criminals. of course he does. then again, luocha has approximate knowledge of many things, for some reason. which is maybe why he doesn't actually actively pursue that point, but instead asks:] These sorts of things, then...braiding hair, shooting guns...are there other talents you've noticed having, that you've no recollection of gaining?
Hm, I'd imagine sparingly few mortals have ever observed The Destruction and survived to recount the experience afterwards. And you're one of them? My, the surprises truly never cease with you...
[local man is a seasoned professional at not actually answering questions, anyway--]
But I do think longer hair could suit you, in your own way. Perhaps nothing too long, of course...after a certain length, there's a great deal of time one must set aside to maintaining it. Still, around shoulder-length tends to be very agreeable. You might prefer something like that.
Anyhow, compared to that tidbit above, it's rather less surprising that you may be speaking of a Stellaron Hunter...if that is the 'Kafka' you're referring to? [of course he knows about some Other interastrally renowned criminals. of course he does. then again, luocha has approximate knowledge of many things, for some reason. which is maybe why he doesn't actually actively pursue that point, but instead asks:] These sorts of things, then...braiding hair, shooting guns...are there other talents you've noticed having, that you've no recollection of gaining?
[Extremely valid trauma to have, all things considered......
Mm. Mmm. Honestly, he probably should have expected this sort of answer, but it's still a little discomfiting to actually think about now? There's another little pause, in which Misha may or may not be lifting one of his hands and really Looking at it for the first time--as one does, when confronted with weird possibilities about your body.
This is a strange sort of existence nowadays, he must remind himself. Still...]
Right...since I'm mainly a memory nowadays. I guess I'm way closer to a memokeeper than a human now...
You're right, I shouldn't check. Don't worry, I won't! All this talk about bleeding and things, I guess I just sort of started thinking about it...since, I haven't really, before now? But I probably...really should...
I mean, yeah, the origami birds in the dream are all memoria constructs. A comparison like that makes me sound really fragile, though...makes me think of paper! I hope it's not that bad. I'd still really like to help you guys when I can...like, if there's fights, and things?
Mm. Mmm. Honestly, he probably should have expected this sort of answer, but it's still a little discomfiting to actually think about now? There's another little pause, in which Misha may or may not be lifting one of his hands and really Looking at it for the first time--as one does, when confronted with weird possibilities about your body.
This is a strange sort of existence nowadays, he must remind himself. Still...]
Right...since I'm mainly a memory nowadays. I guess I'm way closer to a memokeeper than a human now...
You're right, I shouldn't check. Don't worry, I won't! All this talk about bleeding and things, I guess I just sort of started thinking about it...since, I haven't really, before now? But I probably...really should...
I mean, yeah, the origami birds in the dream are all memoria constructs. A comparison like that makes me sound really fragile, though...makes me think of paper! I hope it's not that bad. I'd still really like to help you guys when I can...like, if there's fights, and things?
Trailbirder! Oh...okay, that's pretty good...
[even he has to admit that's pretty good, yes, even if he's still a diehard clock fan forever. look, a guy who once called himself the watchmaker has gotta have at least one brand to stick by!!! just you wait, caelus, he's going to find a clock you'll have to think is cute someday. even if clockie, already a gold standard, somehow hasn't managed to capture your bird-occupied heart--
hmmmm actually,]
Cycranes? Thinking back, actually, I'm not sure we ever made any stops on the Luofu specifically? We encountered a couple other Xianzhou ships, but not that one. So I don't think I've seen cycranes yet, no. But small creatures can still be pretty nice, I guess that's true...and birds do still have plenty going for them. [birdhood suited old glaux just fine, especially!] Hey, have you seen a clockwork bird yet, Caelus?
[even he has to admit that's pretty good, yes, even if he's still a diehard clock fan forever. look, a guy who once called himself the watchmaker has gotta have at least one brand to stick by!!! just you wait, caelus, he's going to find a clock you'll have to think is cute someday. even if clockie, already a gold standard, somehow hasn't managed to capture your bird-occupied heart--
hmmmm actually,]
Cycranes? Thinking back, actually, I'm not sure we ever made any stops on the Luofu specifically? We encountered a couple other Xianzhou ships, but not that one. So I don't think I've seen cycranes yet, no. But small creatures can still be pretty nice, I guess that's true...and birds do still have plenty going for them. [birdhood suited old glaux just fine, especially!] Hey, have you seen a clockwork bird yet, Caelus?
Aren't those cycranes? Haha
Hold on, lemme get you a pic
[ it only takes a second, and then caelus has got an absolutely beautiful shot ready for misha: a pack of cycranes in v-formation, soaring through the synthetic luofu sky, one of them close enough to the lens to be in glorious focus, every facet of its metal shell and bearing in its body exposed to the viewer. sure enough, these fantastic xianzhou birds are mechanical in nature. not quite as cute as the origami birds, sure, but there's an elegance to them all the same! ]
See, these are cycranes
I know they don't look quite as cute as Clockie at first, but they're funny cuz they've all got personalities
They're just supposed to be mail delivery birds, but I've given out a lot of bird therapy at this point
They have funny problems lol
Hold on, lemme get you a pic
[ it only takes a second, and then caelus has got an absolutely beautiful shot ready for misha: a pack of cycranes in v-formation, soaring through the synthetic luofu sky, one of them close enough to the lens to be in glorious focus, every facet of its metal shell and bearing in its body exposed to the viewer. sure enough, these fantastic xianzhou birds are mechanical in nature. not quite as cute as the origami birds, sure, but there's an elegance to them all the same! ]
See, these are cycranes
I know they don't look quite as cute as Clockie at first, but they're funny cuz they've all got personalities
They're just supposed to be mail delivery birds, but I've given out a lot of bird therapy at this point
They have funny problems lol
No worries
We all know you're a proper Nameless
Besides, if Black Swan and that Mr. Reca guy can kick ass despite being Memokeepers, I'm sure you can too
I mean you're not a Memokeeper but same thing, you know
Between me, Dan Heng, and Welt these days, we're kinda stocked up on firepower anyway
I mean, we can always use more in case we have to fight the Antimatter Legion or something
But some things can't be solved through brute force
We all know you're a proper Nameless
Besides, if Black Swan and that Mr. Reca guy can kick ass despite being Memokeepers, I'm sure you can too
I mean you're not a Memokeeper but same thing, you know
Between me, Dan Heng, and Welt these days, we're kinda stocked up on firepower anyway
I mean, we can always use more in case we have to fight the Antimatter Legion or something
But some things can't be solved through brute force
Edited 2024-12-06 13:25 (UTC)
[ stupid... cute... stupidly cute... ]
You're really just so cute sometimes.
You're really just so cute sometimes.
[ once again, because it's become normal for them, caelus simply accepts that luocha doesn't answer some questions. his non-answers tend to serve as answers more often than not, anyway.
anyway, much as luocha is describing stelle right now, caelus doesn't plan to grow his hair out. it's cute to think about, though. he's got a point. he doesn't really have time for that kind of maintenance... good thing luocha does it with his own hair, so caelus can just enjoy his beautiful golden locks vicariously. get yourself a man who lets you reap the benefits of his hair care. ]
Umm... yeah, I guess there's some other stuff
I could probably fight with a sword half-decently, though I usually use the same principles when I'm fighting with my bat anyway
Oh, and I can hack and operate most machines
Usually it doesn't come up because Dan Heng is our resident computer nerd, but when I'm on my own I'm pretty good at it myself
Don't need a lot of guidance on it, even through different star systems. The key processes are usually all the same
[ thank you, silver wolf, for whatever knowledge you managed to pass on to caelus before he became your gremlin gaming partner... ]
anyway, much as luocha is describing stelle right now, caelus doesn't plan to grow his hair out. it's cute to think about, though. he's got a point. he doesn't really have time for that kind of maintenance... good thing luocha does it with his own hair, so caelus can just enjoy his beautiful golden locks vicariously. get yourself a man who lets you reap the benefits of his hair care. ]
Umm... yeah, I guess there's some other stuff
I could probably fight with a sword half-decently, though I usually use the same principles when I'm fighting with my bat anyway
Oh, and I can hack and operate most machines
Usually it doesn't come up because Dan Heng is our resident computer nerd, but when I'm on my own I'm pretty good at it myself
Don't need a lot of guidance on it, even through different star systems. The key processes are usually all the same
[ thank you, silver wolf, for whatever knowledge you managed to pass on to caelus before he became your gremlin gaming partner... ]
[ ...
A reassuring tone; rational advice. Empathy, which is the real thing that Caelus always craves, and so infrequently receives from most people. How is he supposed to do anything but fall more and more in love with Luocha? What is he supposed to do but learn to crave his presence, body and soul? ]
You're right
I think... you're right
Sorry. I wish I could say more
I just don't know how to tell you
You always make me feel like I'm important and it makes me want to cry
A reassuring tone; rational advice. Empathy, which is the real thing that Caelus always craves, and so infrequently receives from most people. How is he supposed to do anything but fall more and more in love with Luocha? What is he supposed to do but learn to crave his presence, body and soul? ]
You're right
I think... you're right
Sorry. I wish I could say more
I just don't know how to tell you
You always make me feel like I'm important and it makes me want to cry
[ !!!!!!!!!! ]
Really?
Really really?
Really really really???
Really?
Really really?
Really really really???
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